


Modes of Affection

by TheLonelyJournalKeeper



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Character, Complicated Relationships, Crushes, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, Pet Names, Pining, Platonic Prinxiety - Freeform, Platonic Relationships, Relationship Advice, Romance, Team as Family, they're all gay lay teas they're all thomas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 12:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLonelyJournalKeeper/pseuds/TheLonelyJournalKeeper
Summary: Virgil is certain none of the other Sides would ever look at him in a romantic light, and he's doubly certain that Patton wouldn't. So naturally that's who he has a crush on.





	Modes of Affection

**Author's Note:**

> so i really like all of the relationships in sanders sides but i especially love virgil and patton's! i was interested to see how that could work romantically given that their relationship is more familial in canon so i wrote this fic!

Virgil slunk back to his room, retreating further into his hoodie to hide his burning face. He jammed his hands into his pockets and put on a sullen expression, anything to make the shame flaring in his chest go away. There was no reason for him to feel this way, not any of it—the embarrassment or the _other_ thing which was the cause of it. 

For God’s sake, none of the other Sides would ever be interested in him that way. He was too troublesome and prickly and off-putting. He was lucky they put up with him as a friend. 

And of all the Sides, Patton was the least likely to ever view him in a romantic light. Patton, who called him “kiddo” and saw him as a child in need of protecting. Patton, who was the self-proclaimed dad of the Sides. Patton, who was sweet and caring and funny. So of course it was _Patton_ whom Virgil had a hopeless crush on. 

Virgil really couldn’t help it. If he’d had any say in the matter, he wouldn’t have developed a crush on any of his fellow Sides. But Patton was so kind, and Virgil’s life had been sorely lacking in kindness until recently. So, like a fool, he’d fallen miserably head over heels for him. 

Patton had no idea, of course, and if anything, that made the whole affair even more embarrassing. What was he doing, falling for someone who didn’t even recognize him as a potential romantic interest? Patton had made his feelings for Virgil quite clear. He cared for him, perhaps even loved him, but it was affection of the strictly familial sort—not romantic in the slightest. Patton had love enough in his immense heart for all of the Sides, just not the kind that Virgil wanted. 

Virgil collapsed onto his bed with a groan, feeling foolish for even thinking about this. He’d already resolved to get over it, but today Patton had smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder, and Virgil’s traitorous heart had skipped a beat. Then Patton had immediately ruined it with his usual show of paternal affection, and Virgil had felt like a fool. He’d fled the scene in embarrassment shortly after. 

Unfortunately, he’d left the door to his room slightly ajar in his haste, and now he had to scramble to his feet as he heard someone approaching. _Please don’t be Patton_, he thought anxiously. He wasn’t in the right state of mind to talk to him right now. 

“Hey, Panic At the Everywhere.” 

Virgil sighed in relief—though strictly speaking, Roman wasn’t much better. “What is it, Princey?” 

“Well, I couldn’t help but notice,” Roman said, edging his way into Virgil’s room without asking, “that you left looking even gloomier than usual earlier. Wanna talk about it?” 

“Buzz off, Roman. I’m fine.” 

“Oh, come _on_!” said the prince with a pout. “You can’t fool _me_, Virgil. Logan wouldn’t know an emotion if it bit him on the—“ Roman’s phone went off abruptly, interrupting him mid-sentence, and he pulled it out, looking disgruntled. “I have _got_ to start putting this thing on silent. Anyway, Logan doesn’t know a thing about emotions, and Patton only sees what he wants to see, but you can’t fool me! I know the pangs of unrequited love when I see it!” 

Virgil gaped at him in horror, heat rising to his face entirely unbidden. “N-no!” he said, appalled to have been caught out so easily. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Princey!” he said defensively. 

The prince rolled his eyes. “Of course I know what I’m talking about. _I’m_ Prince Roman! You can’t spell romance without Roman!” 

Virgil grimaced. “You’re not going to drop it, are you?” 

“Nope!” Roman said, taking a seat cross-legged on the bed facing Virgil. He examined him with interest, causing Virgil to glare at him and avoid his gaze. 

“Fine! Just stop looking at me like that!” Virgil said with a huff. 

Roman beamed and clapped his hands excitedly. “Oh, you _do_ have a crush on Patton! I so love being right!” 

“_Shhhhh_! Don’t yell about it!” Virgil hissed. “If Patton finds out, I’m going to kill you!” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Roman said with a gleeful wave of his hand. “It’s just very exciting. _You’ve_ got a crush on _Patton_.” 

Virgil groaned and pulled up the hood on his hoodie, burying his face in his hands. “It’s not exciting. It’s completely hopeless.” 

“Now why do you say that?” Roman said, resting his chin in his hand. 

“Because it is!” Virgil said in frustration. “He doesn’t feel that way about me, Roman! You know what he’s like—he doesn’t even think about me in that context. He acts like I’m a kid. It’s totally hopeless.” 

“Well, I don’t know about _hopeless_—“ 

“Really, Roman? He’s called me his son on more than one occasion.” 

“Ah, so that’s why you don’t like it when he coddles you. I thought it was just you shunning affection as usual,” Roman said. 

“No, it’s—Well, yeah, maybe it’s that too, but I don’t want him to think of me like that. I want him to see me as an equal,” Virgil said with a sigh. 

“That _is_ tricky,” the prince admitted. “But it’s hardly hopeless. You’re too much of a pessimist, Virgil. Have you tried talking to him about it?” 

“Well, I told him treating me like that cramps my style.” 

“Ah, yes. You do realize that made you sound like a rebellious teenager.” 

Virgil hissed and threw himself back against the bed. “It’s hopeless,” he repeated. 

“Do not despair, my dark and gloomy friend. All hope is not yet lost!” 

“Oh, yeah?” Virgil muttered disbelievingly. 

“You just have to do something bold and romantic to make him see you in a new light!” the prince proclaimed. 

“Are you crazy?!” Virgil said in horror. “I can’t be bold and romantic, and even if I could, what makes you think that would work?! He’d laugh in my face!” 

Roman raised an eyebrow to suggest that Virgil was being unreasonable. “Patton wouldn’t laugh at you.” 

“No, he’d pity me, and that would be even worse!” 

“Why in the world would he do that?” Roman said, throwing his hands in the air. 

“_Obviously_, because he doesn’t feel the same way, and he thinks he’s going to hurt my feelings when he tells me so!” Virgil said bitingly. 

“Wow, you’re _way_ overthinking this,” Roman said. “Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe he likes you too?” 

“Have you ever considered the possibility of shutting up? There’s no way,” Virgil snapped. 

“Whoa, would you cool it? I’m _trying_ to help you,” Roman said, crossing his arms, very much offended. 

Virgil sighed. Admittedly, the prince had a point. He _was_ trying to be helpful in his own infuriating and unhelpful way. “Alright, fine.” 

Roman looked appeased. “Don’t think about the _worst_ thing that could happen—think about the _best_ thing that could happen!” 

“That’s your job,” Virgil said. “I’m supposed to think up worst case scenarios.” 

“Well, _I’m_ supposed to be the dreamer, and right now I’m dreaming about you not being so gloomy for a change!” 

“That’s far-fetched even for you, Princey.” 

“Just talk to him,” Roman coaxed.”Patton tries to be everyone’s dad—you’ve still got a chance!” 

“Sorry, Roman, but you aren’t going to convince me. Your dreams aren’t grounded in reality,” Virgil said. 

Roman jumped to his feet and raised one finger in the air. “_I_ may not be able to convince you, but I know who can!” He turned on his heel and raced off towards the door. 

Alarmed, Virgil slid off the bed and chased after him. “Where are you going?!” he hissed. 

“If romance can’t sway you, maybe logic can!” 

“No! Don’t bring Logan into this!” Virgil said desperately, but Roman ignored him, venturing into the living room with Virgil trailing after him, fuming. 

Logan was sitting on the couch reading a book, his expression placid. “Don’t bring me into what?” he said, setting his book aside and turning to them.

“Logan!” Roman said. “I need your help.” 

“Well, this is unusual,” Logan said. “What seems to be the issue?” 

“Well, I’m trying to convince Virgil to—“ 

“**_Don’t_**!” Virgil snapped. His voice came out distorted and loud, and he winced. He hadn’t meant to do that, but he’d panicked. What if Logan found out and he told Patton? It was bad enough that Roman knew. 

Logan turned to him, mild surprise crossing his face. “Virgil,” he said. “Is something wrong?” 

“No…” Virgil lied, relieved his voice had quieted again. 

“I find that difficult to believe,” Logan said. “And why have you come to me for help? If this is something touchy-feely, you know Patton is much more suited—“ 

“No!” 

“We can’t get Patton,” Roman explained, “because the problem is about him.” 

“Oh,” said Logan. “Is this about his somewhat patronizing treatment of Virgil? Because I have spoken to him several times about that, and each time, he has assured me that he ‘knows what he is doing’.” Logan put the last part in air quotes. 

Virgil’s face flamed. “Patronizing” wasn’t the word he would use, but it wasn’t entirely inaccurate, and he was mortified to think Logan and Patton had been talking about him. 

“You talked to Patton about it?” Roman said, incredulous. 

“Of course. As Thomas’s logical side, it is my duty to ensure harmonious cooperation between us.” 

“Yeah, how’s that working out for you?” 

Logan pursed his lips. “Better of late, but we are still not operating at maximum efficiency.” 

“Forget that,” said Virgil. “This just proves my point. I’m right about Patton, you’re wrong, and I’m going back to my room.” 

Roman started to argue, but Logan interrupted him. “What are you talking about?” 

“Virgil has a crush on Patton,” Roman announced. 

Virgil hissed angrily. “_Roman_!” 

“What? It’s the truth!” 

“I said don’t tell anyone!” 

“Oh, is that what you meant?” 

Virgil fumed, pale cheeks flushing an angry red. 

Logan was watching the both of them contemplatively, his hands steepled in front of him. “Oh, I see. And the issue is that you believe he doesn’t feel the same way?” 

“I _know_ he doesn’t feel the same way which is why _Roman_ shouldn’t have brought it up!” Virgil said, glaring at the prince who shrugged. 

“Well, I’m no _expert_,” Logan said, “but I believe the best way to know that for sure would be to talk to him.” 

“Ha!” Roman cried. “Vindication!” 

Virgil scowled. “He just said he’s not an expert.” 

“I’m not, but I am rather adept at problem-solving, and I’ve read several books on the subject of courtship, in an effort to help Thomas, of course.” 

“See?” Roman said. “We can’t both be wrong!” 

“I’m never wrong,” said Logan. 

“What about the time you thought infini—“ 

“I am—_seldom_ wrong,” Logan said through gritted teeth. 

Virgil cracked a smile. “You could be wrong about this.” 

“Doubtful,” said Logan. “I fail to see a better alternative. As per my solution, both outcomes are favorable. If your feelings are reciprocated, you can commence courtship. If they are not, you will have reason to move on from him. Studies have indicated the uncertainty of another’s feelings to be the worst part of romantic pining.” 

“No, the worst part is going to be when he laughs in my face.” 

“We are talking about the same Patton, aren’t we? When has Patton ever laughed at anyone?” Logan said in disbelief. 

Virgil glared at him and then softened. “…never,” he admitted. 

“There you have it.” 

“But what if it makes things super weird and awkward between us!” 

“Aren’t things already weird and awkward between you?” Roman said. “You ran out of the room because he put his hand on your shoulder.” 

“Roman makes a good point, surprisingly,” Logan said. 

Roman looked immensely pleased with himself. “See, Logan says a make a good point—wait, hey! What do you mean surprisingly?” 

“It’s just not the behavior I’m accustomed to seeing from you.” 

“Why are you taking Roman’s side?” Virgil said, crossing his arms. 

“How many times do I have to say it? I’m not on anyone’s side,” Logan replied. “I am simply trying to evaluate the situation as logically as possible. Roman is suggesting that it is unlikely you could make the situation any worse for yourself and highly probable that you could improve it, and I agree with him. Of course, you’re welcome to disregard my advice, as you’ve been so prone to doing in the past.” 

“Are you throwing shade?” Virgil said, a faintly amused smile crossing his face. 

“How would you throw the darkness caused by shelter from direct sunlight?” Logan said, puzzled. “Is this another of your slang terms?” 

“Forget it,” Virgil said, waving his hand. “I’ll—I’ll think about it.” 

Logan nodded. “That is all I can ask.” 

“But if either of you tell Patton about this…” He pointed a finger at them both threateningly. “Just don’t. You’ll regret it.” 

“Scary,” said Roman. 

“I’m off my A game. It’s been a long day. But I _will_ get you back for telling Logan about this. You’re not still scared of the dark, are you?” 

“Wait, what?” Roman said, laughing nervously. “What does that mean?” 

Virgil grinned his most threatening grin. “I’ll see you around, Roman.” He sunk out of the living room and back to his room. 

* * *

Patton wasn’t as naive as he pretended to be. He knew something was up with Virgil—he just didn’t know what. Something was bothering Virgil—mysterious, strange, _beautiful_ Virgil—but no matter what Patton said, Virgil wouldn’t explain what it was, and Patton didn’t like to push. He understood the need for space—especially after what Virgil had said about being coddled. He’d messed that one up, it would seem.

It was just that Patton really only had the one mode for expressing affection, and he so badly wanted to show affection to Virgil. The poor Side was in desperate need of it. So maybe he’d come on a little too strong. Fair enough, he knew he could be a lot sometimes. He could dial it back. Virgil hadn’t raised any complaints since then, so he didn’t know what was wrong. If Roman and Logan knew, they weren’t saying either.

Right now, they and Virgil were in the kitchen, Logan nursing a cup of coffee, Virgil sitting at the table with his headphones on, and Roman pouring a bowl of cereal. Virgil jumped when he saw Patton enter, and the latter hid a frown as he took at seat at the table. 

Roman paused in his cereal pouring and set down the box, taking the bowl in one hand. “Logan, I need your help with something!” he declared, seizing the other Side by the wrist and dragging him out into the living room. 

“What are you—oh. Very well,” Logan said, seeming to catch on to whatever Roman was suggesting. It did not escape Patton’s notice that Virgil’s shoulders had bunched up with anxiety and that he was glaring at Roman, but none of this registered on Patton’s face as he smiled and waved at Logan and Roman as they left. 

“I should probably go too…” Virgil said, starting to get up, but Patton interrupted him. 

“Wait! I wanted to talk to you,” Patton said. 

Virgil paused, looking suspicious. “What about?” 

“Well, I’m just kind of concerned—You’re not mad at me, are you?” Patton asked. 

Virgil looked shocked. “What? No! Why would you think that?” 

“Well, it kind of seems like you’ve been avoiding me. I was just wondering if it was something that I did,” Patton said. 

“No!” Virgil said. “You—You’re fine, Pat.” 

He smiled at Virgil. He liked it when he called him that. “I’m glad.” 

Virgil was silent, looking down at his clenched fist resting on the table. Patton didn’t press him. Despite his words, something was clearly eating at him, but Patton couldn’t force him to speak. Virgil would talk when he was ready. 

Patton stood up, casually, and went over to the fridge, giving Virgil space to think while he looked for breakfast. The contents of the fridge were less than ideal—Thomas needed to go shopping—but Patton pulled out a few eggs and started making breakfast while Virgil sat at the table. 

Patton snuck glances at him while he cracked eggs into a skillet and started frying them. Virgil was brooding, staring down at his clenched fists like they had offended him. 

“Patton—“ 

“Yeah, kiddo?” Whoops—that had slipped out. He’d wanted to be reassuring, comforting, but he was doing it again. 

Virgil flushed then said in a halting voice. “I wish…you wouldn’t…call me that…” 

“I’m sorry. It’s how I show affection.” 

“I know.” 

“Do you not like it when I show affection to you?” Patton said, biting his lip. That would kind of hurt honestly. 

“No,” Virgil said. “I mean, yes. I mean, ugh.” He grimaced. “I don’t want you to treat me like a kid.” 

“But I’m _Patton_. Everyone’s favorite father figure figment,” Patton said. “And you’re my family.” 

“But I don’t want to be your son! I want to—“ Virgil flushed bright pink and clapped his hand over his mouth. He stood up so abruptly he almost knocked over the kitchen chair. “I have to go.” 

“Virgil, wait!” Patton leapt forward and grabbed him by the wrist as he turned to go, and Virgil, seemingly despite himself, turned back to face Patton. His eyes were wide with panic, the color high on his pale face. 

“What’s wrong?” Patton said, his voice thick with concern. “It’s just me, Virgil. You can tell me anything.” He slid his hand down Virgil’s wrist to take his hand. 

Virgil shook his head violently. “I can’t.” 

“Why not?” Patton said. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“You could hate me…” Virgil said in a small voice. 

Patton cracked a smile. “That’s never going to happen, ki—Virgil.” 

“You sure?” 

“I’m positive,” Patton said. “I could never hate you.” 

Virgil looked up at him. HIs expression was raw and intense. “Close your eyes,” he said. 

“O-okay,” Patton said, catching his breath. He closed his eyes, but the image of Virgil, so vulnerable, so tender, so beautiful, was seared on his eyelids. 

He felt Virgil come closer and then the sweet, startling sensation of lips on his, and he gasped quietly. It was sudden and surprising and yet somehow perfect. It wasn’t what he’d expected, if he’d expected anything at all, but it was better than that. It was much more wonderful than anything he could have anticipated. 

It lasted just a moment, but it made Patton feel light as a feather. Eyes still closed, he felt rather than saw Virgil pull back and whisper in his ear. 

“I don’t want to be your son. I want to be your boyfriend.” 

“_Oh_,” Patton gasped. The pieces were starting to fall together. “Can I open my eyes now?” 

“If you want.” 

Patton opened to his eyes to look at Virgil who looked like all of the tension had gone out of him, like the air out of a balloon. He looked like a prisoner who had just been sentenced to death row and knew it was only a matter of time before his sentence was carried out. 

“Aw, why do you look so sad?” Patton said, reaching up to cup Virgil’s face with his hand. Virgil turned his face away. 

“Because…you’re going to turn me down now,” Virgil said with heartbreaking certainty. 

Patton just shook his head, smiling. 

Virgil’s expression turned from grim to confused. “No?” 

“No,” Patton said, still smiling. 

“But I thought—I thought because you always treated me like a kid—there was no way you would…” Virgil stared at him, struck dumb. 

“I thought that’s what you needed from me,” Patton said. “I don’t know what it was like with—with the Others, but I know it can’t have been easy. I thought—I thought you needed someone to care for you. And…well to be honest, that’s always come easily to me. You know me.” 

“Yeah.” Virgil gave a short startled laugh. 

“I don’t have a lot of experience with—with partnerships, but if you want…we could give it a try?” Patton suggested softly. 

Virgil’s eyes were wide again, but this time with hope, not panic. “Would you really…want that?” 

In answer, Patton leaned forward and gently kissed him on the lips. “I would,” he said, grinning. “I guess I gotta stop calling you ‘kiddo’ now, huh?” 

“Please,” Virgil said hoarsely. “You were killing me.” 

Patton smiled sheepishly. “Do you have any suggestions for what I should call you instead?” 

Virgil shook his head, cheeks pink. “N-no.” 

“Well, I have a few ideas,” Patton said. “Sweetheart. Dear. Honey.” 

Virgil turned a furious shade of red. “Stop that… You’re going to kill me. Besides, your eggs are burning.” 

Patton yelped and turned back around to see that Virgil was right. He hurried back over to the stove to try and salvage what was left of them, but it was too late. “Gosh darn it,” Patton murmured. 

Virgil chuckled softly and went over to the fridge. “I can help you make new eggs, if you want?” 

“That’d be great, honey!” Patton said. 

“I see you have resolved the issue of how to properly address Virgil,” said Logan from the doorway. 

“And it was all thanks to my brilliant plan!” said Roman, appearing next to Logan. 

“Did you two have something to do with this?” Patton said, smiling indulgently. 

“They might’ve given me a talking to…” Virgil muttered. 

“_And_ I dragged Logan away so you could talk to Patton in private!” Roman said. 

Virgil cracked a smile. “Thanks, Princey. I guess you weren’t completely useless after all.”

“Well, I see getting a boyfriend hasn’t improved your attitude!” 

Patton watched as Virgil turned a charming shade of pink right down to the tips of his ears. He said nothing as he buried himself into his hoodie. 

“I stand corrected,” said Roman with a grin as he seated himself at the table. “Well, that will certainly make things easier. Patton, could you pass me some of those eggs? Dry cereal is just _not_ doing it for me.” 

“Sure thing, kiddo,” Patton said, beaming. “Coming right up.” 


End file.
